Matagal na panahon din
Nang mahimlay ang aking pagkamakata
Na halos ibaon ko na sa libingan
Nang kawalang pag-asa
Pagkat dugo ang luhang isinusuka ng aking pluma
Habang nanginginig kong ipinipinta ang bawat kataga at letra
Nang mga larawang binubuhay ng aking ligaya at kalungkutan
Na sa pawang katahimikan lamang umaalingawngaw ang kanilang bawat paghinga. denmar
Tuesday, December 31, 2013
Sunday, November 10, 2013
A Father's Cradle Song
Before you sleep my child
Let my my arms cradle you
And hear my sweet lullaby:
singing with angels guarding you.
Before you close your eyes
Let my goodnight kiss and pray'r
be with you in your dreams
And I will stay awake to
hear you breathing.
I am the Lord who cradles you
Who hears the prayers of your heart
I am Your Father who watches you
and heals the pains of your soul.
Hush my child, be not afraid
I'll stay with you althrough the night
And all the time I'll cradle you.
Sleep my child and rest in me.
Den Mar
Wednesday, September 11, 2013
Digmaan
"ito ba ang KAPAYAPAAN?
ang sira-sirang mundo
ang gula-gulanit na pagkatao?
oo, tahimik nga ang mundo
dahil ginawa itong libingan
ng digmaang mala-impiyerno."
ang digmaan ay nasa ating mga puso
para itong apoy na nagliliyab
na ang bawat nasasaling ng nag-aalab na galit na ito
ay nadadarang sa apoy na pinapaningas ng ating galit at silakbo. denmar
Digmaan
subalit hindi kaylan man ang aming mga luha
malagim na bakas ng DIGMAAN ay laging aalingawngaw
sa puso at isipan ng bawat kaluluwang nagdurusa
ang pait ay parang bala na nakabaon sa kalamnan
kumikirot kapag nasasaling ng lamig ng dilim
kasabay ng mga bangungot na nagmumulto sa gunita
na nanaghoy ng pagmamakaawa, ng katapusan at katahimikan. denmar
Digmaan
ang pinapasaya lamang natin
tuwing may nagaganap na DIGMAAN
ay ang mga uod na gumagapang
sa kaila-ilaliman ng lupa
na sabik at hayok na naghihintay
sa ating malagim na kamatayan. denmar
War
men of war are like children playing with their bombs and bullets in a war that they call a game. denmar
Peace
we cannot achieve true peace through war
because true peace is in the serenity of a loving heart. denmar
Letter to Sanctuario Eucaristico Youth
Dear Santuario Eucaristico Youth,
I really appreciate all your efforts to be with the Lord by adoring Him in the Blessed Sacrament. I know that , most of you, have your hard times, most especially, with your schedules as of now.
Through our fervent prayer and through the grace of God, all of these hindrances to meet our Lord in the Blessed Sacrament will soon passed us by. I know, deep in your hearts, you long to be with us and with that, we also want you to know that we also miss you a lot and we are always praying for you as we wait for you to come.
As I reflect, the distance that divides us because of our priorities and our personal challenges which become our present reality in the 'nowness' of our life is just a stage. I always pray that, together, we will be steadfast and stay holding on for this darkness of separation that wounds our heart will soon be overshadowed by the light and grace of our Lord, Jesus Christ. I see it as a sad phase of our life where we really needed to choose our priorities for the moment. We pray to God to be good students and in order for us to be good students, we also need to prioritize our studies. And I do really understand how you really strive for it. I am one with you in the belief that exams, quizzes and 'board examinations' should be prioritized and I encourage you, with my sincerest prayers, to do so. Education is a gift of God to us all. It is a gift of our parents to us; as you, yourself, are a gift to them. For us to return the glory to God, in our thankfulness, we study hard and we pray a lot.
Likewise, I also know the struggles of those who are working, those who are busy in their jobs. Or of the struggles of those who are still finding for their place under the sun. Hence, it is always a challenge to anyone to balance studies, works, handling personal problems and prayers-- this is our multi-faceted dimensions as a person. Your current situation, your struggle on keeping your hectic schedules, is your response in understanding your human dynamics. As of now, go on and discover your self. Go on and establish yourself. But I also earnestly pray that you would transcend all these worries and surrender all of them to God. Time will always run us short but you may take your time to have a grasp of fresh air and be alone for some time to reflect on what is transpiring.
As your brother, my only reminder, where ever you are and where you would be, do not forget to pray. Pray for us as we also always pray for you. Through our sincere prayers to one another, we become united, although separated for the meantime to us; but always united to our Lord and God, Jesus Christ.
Your assurance is this, you always have a home in Santuario Eucaristico after your toil is done. All of us are like leaves in the air, we go where the wind of change carry us... but as Eucharistic Youth, we always go with the loving and guiding Spirit of God. Rest assured that we are always here and always waiting for you... so what if you come late, what is more important is that you exerted your effort and through that effort we feel that you love us. Your presence is more than enough... it is a gift of self that you share to us.
Love is the most beautiful action that binds us all as brothers and sisters in Christ. Love is so powerful that even in its silence it can move hearts to beat as one in the name of love. I encourage all of you to love one another as Jesus Christ did and told us. Being a teen-ager... being a youth is a very short stage in our life so we need to do all of what we can do to dedicate it in loving one another. Of course, sometimes, we will fail... but we will learn from all of our failures and we will realize that only love can make us stronger to stand again from our shortcomings in life.
Your whole self is your greatest contribution, much more, your prayers. Encourage one another to love in the name of Jesus Christ. Encourage one another to remind one another. Encourage one another to wait for one another. It is through our patience and sacrifices that we will be united once again... together as one family... as Santuario Youth family.
In prayer, we will never be apart. In prayer, we will always be connected.
Love and Care,
Br. Dennis DC. Marquez, SSS
September 8, 2013
Birthday of Mama Mary
Peace
we cannot achieve true peace through war
because true peace is in the serenity of a loving heart. denmar
because true peace is in the serenity of a loving heart. denmar
Peace
we cannot achieve true peace through war
because true peace is in the serenity of a loving heart. denmar
because true peace is in the serenity of a loving heart. denmar
Letter To Knights and Ladiest of the Altar
Dear Knights and Ladies of the Altar,
As Youth Ministry-Altar Servers, being a KNIGHT or a LADY OF THE ALTAR, we are now facing new challenges: 'to be a good ROLE MODEL to our apprentices is a MUST.' But, do not be afraid because the Holy Spirit is always with us. The Holy Spirit will purify us. The Holy Spirit of God will teach us through our hearts.
As their Knight or Lady, do not be afraid to entertain their questions. They are new in our organization and we encourage them to post their inquiries to us. Like most of us, I hope that you will not also be afraid, in times where we find ourselves incapable to answer their questions, to humbly admit that 'we don't know all the answers.' And tell your apprentices that they should not be be afraid to commit mistakes for their sincere prayers, dedication and commitment will perfect their ministry as time goes by.
It is in our sincerest humility that God works in our lives and I always encourage all of you to remind one another. Even me, your elder brother, I encourage you to remind me if ever I forget to love and serve you as your dear beloved brother.
Being an Altar Server is a gift coming from God. As Knight Dave always tell me: "many are called but few responded," I agree with him that only a few has heard the urgent call of God to serve Him. You have heard God's call and you urgently responded.
Knight Roussel, being the analyst of the group, always reminds me to be systematic in every way so we do it not too fast but systematically, and now, we are reaping the fruits of our prayers. Lady Maricar, our Coordinator and I, Br. Dennis, your Spiritual Director with Sister Marge Manabat will always try our best to implement what is needed. Of course, with Knight Paul being around with his team mate, my fellow Scout Knight Patrick who is always prepared to serve, I am sure that our every after session bonding with the little merienda that our Parish Priest, our Grand Knight, Fr. Joel, SSS has offered, will always be a delightful event to hang-around further for some chit-chat with one another to share our experiences. Through that sharing we become friends and through those common experiences we become brothers and sisters in Christ.
Our APPRENTICES still have their very long journey ahead of them. I am praying for you, being their Knight or Lady, as their Kuya or Ate... that you will not stop loving them and serving them... that you will not be tired of guiding them towards the perfection of our humble service, our ministry of Serving in the Altar of God.
Pass on the tradition to them with grace and love. Always pray for the intercession of Mama Mary. Mama Mary is the beloved Mother of Jesus, she will always lead us to Jesus. She will always lead us to God.
Love and Care,
Br. Dennis DC. Marquez, SSS
September 8, 2013
Birthday of Mama Mary
Prayer
September 8
message to Santuario Youth:
"in prayer we will never be apart, in prayer we will always be connected." denmar
message to Santuario Youth:
"in prayer we will never be apart, in prayer we will always be connected." denmar
Finding the Right Answer
September 8
everyday, we find newer solution to the same complex problems we encounter
in every newer solution... we make it easier and we make it more simple to work on
there are many possible solutions to a problem
and we tend to opt for the most simple solution among the options
but how simple it is?
that is the question. denmar
everyday, we find newer solution to the same complex problems we encounter
in every newer solution... we make it easier and we make it more simple to work on
there are many possible solutions to a problem
and we tend to opt for the most simple solution among the options
but how simple it is?
that is the question. denmar
Progress
September 7
it is true that we can talk about progress and become rich without God
that we can create human laws and social doctrines and become orderly and peaceful without God
but at the end, we would realize that in our desire to make God absent in our lives because of our pride
we make ourselves bow to the 'gods' we have just created. denmar
it is true that we can talk about progress and become rich without God
that we can create human laws and social doctrines and become orderly and peaceful without God
but at the end, we would realize that in our desire to make God absent in our lives because of our pride
we make ourselves bow to the 'gods' we have just created. denmar
Tuesday, September 10, 2013
Social Justice
September 7
there is a great gap between the rich and the poor in our society because the rich do not own the pains and the sufferings of the poor; while the poor are not given a chance by the rich to share in their blessings. denmar
there is a great gap between the rich and the poor in our society because the rich do not own the pains and the sufferings of the poor; while the poor are not given a chance by the rich to share in their blessings. denmar
Metanoia
September 7
i think, we need now to reform our thinking as a nation
instead of sending our children to school for their bright future
send them to school to help our nation
education would be the same mean of empowering the youth of today
but our motivation for them to learn for the nation would, hopefully, make a difference in the future. denmar
i think, we need now to reform our thinking as a nation
instead of sending our children to school for their bright future
send them to school to help our nation
education would be the same mean of empowering the youth of today
but our motivation for them to learn for the nation would, hopefully, make a difference in the future. denmar
Old People
September 7
this morning, i visited a 97 year old sick grandmother. she told me, "you know brother... my centennial prayer is joy to the world." she's still laughing at her age despite of her hardship to stand and to talk.
and there's more! her 91 year old friend who accompanied me to her house told me that 'it is her apostolate to visit the elderly and the sick!'
i was really astounded! denmar
this morning, i visited a 97 year old sick grandmother. she told me, "you know brother... my centennial prayer is joy to the world." she's still laughing at her age despite of her hardship to stand and to talk.
and there's more! her 91 year old friend who accompanied me to her house told me that 'it is her apostolate to visit the elderly and the sick!'
i was really astounded! denmar
Decision Making
September 7
sometimes when we DECIDE
we make decisions as if there is only now
we don't think of the past
we forego of the future. denmar
sometimes when we DECIDE
we make decisions as if there is only now
we don't think of the past
we forego of the future. denmar
Langit
September 6
tatawagin kong LANGIT kahit na ang dagat-dagatang apoy na ito
kung kapiling ko sa bawat saglit ang nag-iisang IKAW ng buhay ko. denmar
tatawagin kong LANGIT kahit na ang dagat-dagatang apoy na ito
kung kapiling ko sa bawat saglit ang nag-iisang IKAW ng buhay ko. denmar
I Admit My Mistakes
September 6
I ADMIT MY MISTAKES.
the LOVE OF GOD is the most appreciative... the most consoling... and the most securing presence in us. when you're alone and afraid-- no where to hide and nowhere to go... talk to God and admit your shortcomings. you can cry out loud to Him and you can tell God that you surrender to his will... God will be with us even in prison, He will suffer with us... and He will be with us even in our own death.
I ADMIT MY MISTAKES.
the LOVE OF GOD is the most appreciative... the most consoling... and the most securing presence in us. when you're alone and afraid-- no where to hide and nowhere to go... talk to God and admit your shortcomings. you can cry out loud to Him and you can tell God that you surrender to his will... God will be with us even in prison, He will suffer with us... and He will be with us even in our own death.
I am an Introverted Person
September 6
as an introverted person, i'm always ashamed of sharing my talents. kasi naman...it's so hard to be a composer na hindi naman ako mahusay kumanta.
some years ago, i asked God to allow me to interpret his love through the words and music of every prayer i can compose... i am so thankful to God for providing me always the voice-- through the people i encountered... this night, i heard God's voice singing those humble compositions through our youth ministry members during our Santuario Eucaristico Monthly Youth Adoration. thanks be to God.
as an introverted person, i'm always ashamed of sharing my talents. kasi naman...it's so hard to be a composer na hindi naman ako mahusay kumanta.
some years ago, i asked God to allow me to interpret his love through the words and music of every prayer i can compose... i am so thankful to God for providing me always the voice-- through the people i encountered... this night, i heard God's voice singing those humble compositions through our youth ministry members during our Santuario Eucaristico Monthly Youth Adoration. thanks be to God.
Unity in Diversity
September 6
may mga tao na gustong maging simple ang buhay nila
pero ginagawang komplikado ang buhay ng iba
kung minsan yung simple sa isa e complicated sa iba
yung complicated naman sa iba, e napaka-simple naman sa iba...
RESPECT na lang and LEARN from one another...
THERE'S UNITY IN DIVERSITY. denmar
may mga tao na gustong maging simple ang buhay nila
pero ginagawang komplikado ang buhay ng iba
kung minsan yung simple sa isa e complicated sa iba
yung complicated naman sa iba, e napaka-simple naman sa iba...
RESPECT na lang and LEARN from one another...
THERE'S UNITY IN DIVERSITY. denmar
Preserve
September 5
if we cannot make the world a better place to live in
at least we should not make it a worse place for the next generation to come
>PRESERVE WHAT WE HAVE NOW, it is is not for us alone. denmar
if we cannot make the world a better place to live in
at least we should not make it a worse place for the next generation to come
>PRESERVE WHAT WE HAVE NOW, it is is not for us alone. denmar
Crucifix
September 5
two people in front of a life size crucifix. one of them is a rich looking middle aged guy; and the other one, a crippled old lady patiently seated on her wheel chair praying. the guy told the old lady, "see... there's only pains and sufferings in this world." the old lady stop praying and gently told the guy, "if you focus only on the cross, you will see nothing but pains and sufferings; but if you look on Jesus crucified, you will see sacrifice and love." denmar
two people in front of a life size crucifix. one of them is a rich looking middle aged guy; and the other one, a crippled old lady patiently seated on her wheel chair praying. the guy told the old lady, "see... there's only pains and sufferings in this world." the old lady stop praying and gently told the guy, "if you focus only on the cross, you will see nothing but pains and sufferings; but if you look on Jesus crucified, you will see sacrifice and love." denmar
God
September 4
atheist: I don't believe in God because I can't see God.
old man: I am blind... but I believe that you exist.
atheist: but you can hear me!
old man: that's it... you can't hear God because you're not listening. denmar
atheist: I don't believe in God because I can't see God.
old man: I am blind... but I believe that you exist.
atheist: but you can hear me!
old man: that's it... you can't hear God because you're not listening. denmar
Forgive
September 4
there is something good when you express your anger
but there is something better if you choose to FORGIVE. denmar
there is something good when you express your anger
but there is something better if you choose to FORGIVE. denmar
Generation Gap
September 4
generation gap?
old generation: "they always talk about themselves."
young generation: "they want to be heard."
>what is common is self-centeredness... no one wants to listen. denmar
generation gap?
old generation: "they always talk about themselves."
young generation: "they want to be heard."
>what is common is self-centeredness... no one wants to listen. denmar
Mindset
September 4
our MINDSET dictates us to be who we are
but reality will tell us if that is fantasy or not. denmar
our MINDSET dictates us to be who we are
but reality will tell us if that is fantasy or not. denmar
Wednesday, September 4, 2013
Death
when we grow old... we will miss all the path we trailed from our lifetime
no matter how we wanted to return, we can not go back because we would not have enough strength
soon our memories will be forgotten
soon all of our monuments will be called graves
new generations will call some of us 'heroes'
but when we're gone... most of us wanted to be called a 'beloved person.' denmar
no matter how we wanted to return, we can not go back because we would not have enough strength
soon our memories will be forgotten
soon all of our monuments will be called graves
new generations will call some of us 'heroes'
but when we're gone... most of us wanted to be called a 'beloved person.' denmar
Tuesday, September 3, 2013
Self
i have been running for so long a time
until i stopped...
when i looked back, i saw my own shadow chasing after me
then i realized that i have been running away from my self. denmar
until i stopped...
when i looked back, i saw my own shadow chasing after me
then i realized that i have been running away from my self. denmar
Happiness
all we want is to be happy; but to be happy, we also need to let others to be happy. denmar
Love
the meaning of LOVE disintegrates as society's values also disintegrates...
the moral decay of a society starts with the moral decay of its families. denmar
the moral decay of a society starts with the moral decay of its families. denmar
Self
Sept 3
own your own shadow
own your own footprints
stop running away from your self
start embracing who you are. denmar
own your own footprints
stop running away from your self
start embracing who you are. denmar
Basura
Sept 3
mayaman: "ibibigay ko ang lahat mawala lang ang basura sa lupain ko."
mahirap na scavenger: "akin na ang lahat ng mga basura mo."
mayaman: "ano ang gusto mong pabuya?"
mahirap na scavenger: "yung lupain mo. saan ko ilalagay ang mga basura mo kung wala akong lupa?" denmar
mayaman: "ibibigay ko ang lahat mawala lang ang basura sa lupain ko."
mahirap na scavenger: "akin na ang lahat ng mga basura mo."
mayaman: "ano ang gusto mong pabuya?"
mahirap na scavenger: "yung lupain mo. saan ko ilalagay ang mga basura mo kung wala akong lupa?" denmar
Love of Work
Sept 2, 2013
when you learn to LOVE your WORK
no matter how you hate it
it becomes a SACRIFICE
and it is no longer a punishment...
even hell will become heaven
even death will become life
even sadness will become joy
even hatred will become love. denmar
when you learn to LOVE your WORK
no matter how you hate it
it becomes a SACRIFICE
and it is no longer a punishment...
even hell will become heaven
even death will become life
even sadness will become joy
even hatred will become love. denmar
Role Model
August 27
do not think more of your power but of your influence.
>change the world now... be a role model. denmar
do not think more of your power but of your influence.
>change the world now... be a role model. denmar
Selfishness
August 27
when we ignore our brothers and sisters... we also ignore ourselves... they are who we are... we are the nation.
there is corruption because there is no love for our nation. there is greed because we ignore our brothers and sisters' needs... and we cannot talk about loving God without loving first our neighbors. denmar
when we ignore our brothers and sisters... we also ignore ourselves... they are who we are... we are the nation.
there is corruption because there is no love for our nation. there is greed because we ignore our brothers and sisters' needs... and we cannot talk about loving God without loving first our neighbors. denmar
Detachment
August 27
detachment from humanity is the dangerous tendency of man... where man acts and thinks not as man because he holds fast not to his heart but to his desires. denmar
detachment from humanity is the dangerous tendency of man... where man acts and thinks not as man because he holds fast not to his heart but to his desires. denmar
Blood Letting
August 24
after 3 months, nag-donate uli ako ng dugo kanina
tinanong ako ng cook namin na si ate susan
"masakit ba ang mag-donate ng dugo?"
sabi ko, "a... oo, pero ang mas masakit e yung kahit na nasa bingit na ng kamatayan yung nangangailangan pero ang mga kapitbahay na qualified naman mag-donate e ayaw pa ring mag-donate." denmar
after 3 months, nag-donate uli ako ng dugo kanina
tinanong ako ng cook namin na si ate susan
"masakit ba ang mag-donate ng dugo?"
sabi ko, "a... oo, pero ang mas masakit e yung kahit na nasa bingit na ng kamatayan yung nangangailangan pero ang mga kapitbahay na qualified naman mag-donate e ayaw pa ring mag-donate." denmar
Sin to Humanity
ang pinakamatinding kasalanan ng tao sa sangkatauhan ay ang pagiging gahaman. iniluluklok niya ang kanyang sarili sa kapangyarihan upang gumawa at magpatupad ng batas na maglilingkod sa makasarili lamang niyang pangangailangan. kahit patay na siya, marami pa ring buhay na kaluluwa ang nananatiling nagdurusa... at kapag naaalala ang kanyang pangalan, laging nasasambit ang mga mapait at karima-rimarim na salita: "siya ang tao na nagdala ng impiyerno dito sa lupa..." na animo'y isang malagim na sumpa na nakaukit sa puso ng bawat biktima at lapida ng kasaysayan. ang pinapatay niya ay hindi lamang ang ngayon... kundi maging ang kinabukasan.
>>>ganito ba ang gusto nating kamatayan... walang kapayapaan? denmar
>>>ganito ba ang gusto nating kamatayan... walang kapayapaan? denmar
Thursday, August 22, 2013
Peace
in Cairo, Egypt, a group of men secretly gathered together for a Sunday mass inside the ruins of a bombed Church. They were crying when they greeted each other, "peace be with you..."
>Unless our peace will be taken away... only then, we will realize how peaceful the Church is even in the midst of inhuman persecutions. denmar
>Unless our peace will be taken away... only then, we will realize how peaceful the Church is even in the midst of inhuman persecutions. denmar
Principal
my advise to my friend who is a school principal:
"to unite your teachers, be with them... sabayan mo sila sa kanilang bawat paghakbang-- pakinggan mo ang kanilang mga pangarap sa buhay; at tawanan mo at iyakan ang kanilang mga drama sa buhay-- touch them... start from their hearts." denmar.
"to unite your teachers, be with them... sabayan mo sila sa kanilang bawat paghakbang-- pakinggan mo ang kanilang mga pangarap sa buhay; at tawanan mo at iyakan ang kanilang mga drama sa buhay-- touch them... start from their hearts." denmar.
Napolintikan
NAPOLINTIKAN- verb. (mula sa politika at nalintikan) 1.mga botante na nauto at naloko ng mga kandidatong abusado na namumulitika lang para lang sa posisyon at makasriling paghahangad sa pera ng gobyerno na mula sa katas ng bawat pawis ng bawat mamamayang Filipino; 2.(pulitiko at Napoles) mga pulitikong nauto ni Napoles; 3.mga nauto at naloko dahil sa maling pamumulitika o paggamit ng impluwensya. denmar
On Mama Mary
in a conference, somebody asked me, "can I love Jesus without loving Mary?"
i told her, "Can you love God without loving your mother?" denmar
i told her, "Can you love God without loving your mother?" denmar
God's Love
on a youth meeting:
one of the youths asked me, "brother, paano ba malalaman yung 'God's love' na yan? [how could we know about God's love?]"
i told them, "e di try to read the bible so that you would know God." i answered.
"wala na bang shortcut, yung pinaka-practical?" another youth insisted.
i think for a while, "try to remember your mother, i think that summarizes God's love."
one of the youths frowned, "why naman?"
"kasi si God ay mapagmahal, lahat ng nanay ay ganun di ba. kapag ang anak ay nagkasala... oo magagalit... pero, maya-maya lang e lalambingin ka na."
then, one of them cried. denmar.
one of the youths asked me, "brother, paano ba malalaman yung 'God's love' na yan? [how could we know about God's love?]"
i told them, "e di try to read the bible so that you would know God." i answered.
"wala na bang shortcut, yung pinaka-practical?" another youth insisted.
i think for a while, "try to remember your mother, i think that summarizes God's love."
one of the youths frowned, "why naman?"
"kasi si God ay mapagmahal, lahat ng nanay ay ganun di ba. kapag ang anak ay nagkasala... oo magagalit... pero, maya-maya lang e lalambingin ka na."
then, one of them cried. denmar.
On Sick Visitation
an old woman, with Alzheimer's , in her dying bed:
"right now brother, i almost forgot everything... moments from now... maybe, i would not recall you like the others... the only things that i could remember are the 'our father, the hail mary, and the glory be' the first prayers that were taught to me when I was still so young...' I call everyone Jesus or Mary because those are the sweetest names I could hardly forget."
I asked her, "why?"
she told me, "maybe, they're not in my mind... maybe, they're in my heart." denmar
"right now brother, i almost forgot everything... moments from now... maybe, i would not recall you like the others... the only things that i could remember are the 'our father, the hail mary, and the glory be' the first prayers that were taught to me when I was still so young...' I call everyone Jesus or Mary because those are the sweetest names I could hardly forget."
I asked her, "why?"
she told me, "maybe, they're not in my mind... maybe, they're in my heart." denmar
Love
all of us needs to love and be loved
if we don't want to, nobody's forcing us to do it so
but at least, if we don't want to love because that is our choice
let us give others' their chance... let us respect their hearts. denmar
if we don't want to, nobody's forcing us to do it so
but at least, if we don't want to love because that is our choice
let us give others' their chance... let us respect their hearts. denmar
The Humble Owner
there was an advertisement posted in front of the window of a restaurant, saying: "Wanted: Floor Manager."
A decent looking middle aged man went inside holding his resume in his hand. He scanned the interior of the restaurant, "not bad, so elegant," he told himself.
On the one side, he saw an old looking man scrubbing the floor, he called him, "would you mind to bring me a glass of cold water." the old man was a little bit slow, the middle aged man was a little bit annoyed so he urged him in a louder voice, "could you make it a little bit faster?"
soon, the old man gave what he wanted. "is there anything more i can do for you?" the middle aged man told him, "you should start calling me now as 'sir' if i were you." "okay," said by the old man, "what else can i do for you, sir?" the middle aged man reply, "that's good... you learn easily." the old man told him, "thank you." the middle aged man frowned. the old man noticed it so he repeated what he had told him earlier, "thank you, sir." the middle aged man smiled and told the old man arrogantly, "you know what, 'oldie,' if i were you, you should start respecting me and treating me nicely." the old man asked, "why, sir?" the middle aged man whispered, "you know what i'm holding? this is my application to this restaurant and i'm sure, in no time, i'll be your boss." the old man was fascinated, "oh, i see, i'm so sorry i don't get it right away, sir." the middle aged man laughed and the old man also laughed. "by the way, who is the owner of this beautiful restaurant?" asked by the middle aged man. the old man told him in a very low voice... "i am." denmar
Reflection
there are so many seminarians who leave their priestly vocation because of ungenerous people... being ungenerous is a deadly attitude because it kills the spirit of the person. denmar
Generosity
i don't have much to offer
...so i give the only thing i have
i don't have anything more to give
...so i give my whole self
generosity is also accepting other's rejection
generosity is also accepting other's condemnation
generosity is giving yourself again and again
and transforming those pains and sufferings to LOVE
i am poor but i am generous. denmar
...so i give the only thing i have
i don't have anything more to give
...so i give my whole self
generosity is also accepting other's rejection
generosity is also accepting other's condemnation
generosity is giving yourself again and again
and transforming those pains and sufferings to LOVE
i am poor but i am generous. denmar
The Church
What is an organization without members?
What is a leader without followers?
'Commitment' builds relationship
'Committed members' build a great Church. denmar
What is a leader without followers?
'Commitment' builds relationship
'Committed members' build a great Church. denmar
Saturday, August 17, 2013
The Apprentice
there was this young apprentice. on one of his final trials, he was assigned to deliver hundred of messages everyday to hundreds of people who are so unmindful of their mission... advertising. but he was only given a very basic celfon: black and white graphics, so slow keypad, with poor battery that needs to be recharged every minute, no group messaging and no celfon load. he sacrificed his very little allowance to provide the celfon load and his plenty of time, day and night, doing the ministry.
as time goes by, his love for the mission eventually withered, he knew in his heart that there's still other way and easier way to do the mission. but before his passion totally died, he asked the firm to make some justifiable adjustments, he asked for a newer celfon.
one of the masters told him, "you are not yet a master like me and you are whining already... you are asking already for a newer celfon... during my time i have the same job but i succeeded,' and continued to brag about himself and his achievements. they don't listen to the young apprentice even though, the young apprentice do much of the work, while others enjoy their luxurious celfon for playing games only.
the poor apprentice persevere, but he has changed his heart... what he wanted now is to be a master and not a missionary. on the day of his graduation, now as a master, he was given a privilege to ask for one wish which is a law in their brotherhood. the previous master expected him to ask for the new celfon, so he already prepared a new one. but the newly installed master asked this: 'since i have the priviledge to ask for one wish, i wish that all of us here would use the old celfon that i am using.'
as time goes by, his love for the mission eventually withered, he knew in his heart that there's still other way and easier way to do the mission. but before his passion totally died, he asked the firm to make some justifiable adjustments, he asked for a newer celfon.
one of the masters told him, "you are not yet a master like me and you are whining already... you are asking already for a newer celfon... during my time i have the same job but i succeeded,' and continued to brag about himself and his achievements. they don't listen to the young apprentice even though, the young apprentice do much of the work, while others enjoy their luxurious celfon for playing games only.
the poor apprentice persevere, but he has changed his heart... what he wanted now is to be a master and not a missionary. on the day of his graduation, now as a master, he was given a privilege to ask for one wish which is a law in their brotherhood. the previous master expected him to ask for the new celfon, so he already prepared a new one. but the newly installed master asked this: 'since i have the priviledge to ask for one wish, i wish that all of us here would use the old celfon that i am using.'
everyone was startled. someone asked, 'are you taking your revenge?' the new master told them, 'no, i just want you to know how ineffective my training was.' the other masters were so very proud, 'we won't change it, but we will prove to you that you are wrong.' they accepted the challenge. ' after a month, their advertising firm died.
after sometime, the new master created a new advertising firm. and the old masters, no where to go, applied. on their training with the new master, they were trained how to use modern technology prudently.
after sometime, the new master created a new advertising firm. and the old masters, no where to go, applied. on their training with the new master, they were trained how to use modern technology prudently.
on their graduation, he accepted and called the old masters as 'brothers,' and not masters anymore. they all become brothers from then on. denmar
Sacred Tradition
We know Jesus Christ from the Sacred Scripture which is the Bible... and our Sacred Tradition fortifies the "Why and How" of our faith... and that is 'witnessing.' The Sacred Tradition is the unwritten words of God inspired by the Holy Spirit, the Paraclete, manifesting itself by accompanying us in the entire history of our Church. denmar
Church and Youth
as a Church, we need to take care of our YOUTH MEMBERS... they are the future of our Church. it starts not only by nourishing their souls but also by practically feeding their hungry bodies. denmar
Giftedness
everybody is special-- endowed by God with 'giftedness...' and i hope, everybody also develops a gifted heart. denmar
Graces with God
when I am alone, what i see are pains and sufferings
but now I am with God, I see graces above all these things. denmar
but now I am with God, I see graces above all these things. denmar
Faith and Reason
faith is never been irrational.
faith is always grounded on pure reason.
faith and science has never been apart.
faith supports science, and science validates our faith.
understanding the science behind the entire universe
is rediscovering God in our faithful hearts. denmar
faith is always grounded on pure reason.
faith and science has never been apart.
faith supports science, and science validates our faith.
understanding the science behind the entire universe
is rediscovering God in our faithful hearts. denmar
Selfishness
Ignorance, indifference, and hatred were never taught in the Church but why we become less compassionate... unable to hear and unable to love? denmar
Tomorrow
Tomorrow would be a great day!
Touch a life and change a heart
Be an inspiration... be an influencer
Be ambassadors of God's love. denmar
Touch a life and change a heart
Be an inspiration... be an influencer
Be ambassadors of God's love. denmar
Santuario Youth Ministry
SANTUARIO EUCARISTICO YOUTH MINISTRY:
Today's youth... tomorrow's leaders
Together we pray, together we serve
Know JESUS, be with Jesus
It's more FUN... IT IS NEVER BORING
It's more more meaningful... it's more worth living
JOIN US... be a SERVANT and be a LEADER
Touch a life today, and start changing tomorrow!
GOD'S SERVANT-LEADERS... THAT IS WHO WE ARE!
Today's youth... tomorrow's leaders
Together we pray, together we serve
Know JESUS, be with Jesus
It's more FUN... IT IS NEVER BORING
It's more more meaningful... it's more worth living
JOIN US... be a SERVANT and be a LEADER
Touch a life today, and start changing tomorrow!
GOD'S SERVANT-LEADERS... THAT IS WHO WE ARE!
Rejections
we also become generous every time we accept rejections. (gosh, this is the hardest part of all) denmar
Hell
Everything is drifting away
The warm summer breeze is now a cold winter's storm
No more green grasses, no more sunshine
No more echoes of joy, there's nothing but darkness
Everything is gone... even time fled away
Time has passed me by without me noticing it
I want to follow but it's too late
I have no more strength, I am dead in spirit.
den mar
The warm summer breeze is now a cold winter's storm
No more green grasses, no more sunshine
No more echoes of joy, there's nothing but darkness
Everything is gone... even time fled away
Time has passed me by without me noticing it
I want to follow but it's too late
I have no more strength, I am dead in spirit.
den mar
Friday, August 9, 2013
A Reflection on Why it is Hard to Understand the Mass
Why it is hard for any youth to get interested about the mass?
We, as individuals are working in the material world. The material world is the environment where we are living. Structures like the school, the church or the home where different human activities are going on are where we operate as a person. As a person, we are a rational being. We can differentiate good and bad. And as a person we always consider ourselves as a person consisting of body and soul.
Living in a material world, as humans, we also interact with other human beings. We start with our families; then we go beyond our house’s fences and start to find friends. As we grow, we gain knowledge and experiences. Aside from the ordinary school, we also learn from the television, computers, gadgets and from all the people we encounter every day. With our interaction with the material world, we also encounter challenges, problems, and even to the point of getting hurt someone or disappointed by our own limitations. These are all stored in our memory and they influence us to be who we are. These influences has taught us to respond to our basic needs. There is a need to response to our basic needs in order for us to survive as a person, sometimes, we don’t realize it, it just happens naturally. These responses become our habitual responses and has become our attitude. As an attitude, our actions become subliminal or automatic in us.
A person is a bodied spirit. Through our body, we respond to the material world. Our body responses through our senses. We see the beauty and the ugliness of everything through our eyes, we can hear the wind blowing through our ears, we can smell fragrant of the flowers through our nose, we can taste the food through our tongue, and we can feel the changing weather through our sense of touch. Through these senses, we respond to our environment.
Now, why it is hard to understand God? Because God is not physically present in our time now. We cannot talk to God now physically. We cannot touch God now. There are so many questions like where is God? How God could help me if he is not around? Or if God is powerful, why can’t He change me now to believe? There are so many doubts that arise because God is beyond the realm of the physical world. God is a Spiritual being that’s why to understand God we need also to transcend by being spiritual. Let us not forget that as a person, we are body and spirit.
Our spirit works in our ‘will,’ our intellect is the seat of our will. Our intellect is our mind. Our experiences are stored in our mind. Out intellect process all our experiences, bad and good, and our will is where our freedom of choice lies.
Okay, let us simplify. Example, BED SCENE (not that! green minded people!) I mean, like in this scenario: It was 5:30 in the morning where an Altar Server’s alarm clock rung telling him or her to rise up for he or she will have to serve the mass at 7:00 am. Let say, he is Paul Quidong (this is only an example) That morning, it was cold, and when he looked outside it’s also raining. The sense of hearing woke up Paul. His sense of touch gave him a good feeling of coolness and invites him to linger more. But Paul realized that he would be late, so he forced himself to stand up, but by the window, he saw that it was raining and that gave him a good reason to stay home and continue sleeping. His senses gave him the facts. His mind process the gathered facts, his intellect would tell him things like these: first, it is good to serve in the mass and second, but it is not good to get wet in the rain. As person, we have the tendency to defend ourselves so we reason out in our favor which we call self-justification. The dilemma now is which of the reasons should Paul give importance, his bodily pleasure or what he ought to do being a committed Altar Server?
Our ‘will’ without conscience would decide in the favor of our own self. As a person, we know what freedom is since we have ‘free will’ but sometimes we don’t know what we mean about freedom. That’s why there are times that our ‘will’ is overpowered by our physical needs and desires. There are times that we are overpowered by our work and we become our work. Our work has now become more important than God. In the example, the busyness or work of Paul that attracts him is sleeping. But his ‘will‘ has told him that ‘I need to go because I am a responsible Altar Server.’
This is a common dilemma for all of us. There are so many temptations that we are in which can hinder us to do what we ought to do. Most of the time we even justify our wrong actions… we take it personally and we don’t realize that we are already succumbed by our own pride. We let ourselves be subjected to our personal whining until we gradually forget our commitment with God. We took our personal pride as our top priority instead of changing ourselves. We sometimes say, ‘Akin ito,’ ‘Ako,’ ‘Ko,’ always grabbing all the good things and always blaming others for our shortcomings.
You see, since that we are in the material world, we respond through our senses. We find pleasure through our senses. And what I mean pleasure, usually, we stick most of our time to whatever we are doing and we omit ourselves from doing other things. No balance at all. What I mean, we became so much attached or addicted to what we prefer to do and these things not only defray us from our other priorities in life but also disconnect us with God. This is now where Satan is working. Satan, the fallen angel, is working tirelessly 24/7 just to allure us into his temptation.
From our actions and speech, Satan would know what we long for. He would take note those things that will bring us to God. From there, he will plot temptations that will trap us from being reunited with God. Satan is active in our world and could use anything to catch our attention. When Satan found that we have a strong faith, usually, he will bring us more harm. If he can’t stop us to serve God, he would hurt even the people we love. If Satan knew that there are people who have the capacity to let others fall, he will intensify them by giving them power. Of all these, Satan only wants our soul. He wants us to be separated from the love of God.
The question, “Where is God?” If God is powerful, why He let us to be tempted by the Devil. Why He let sufferings and deaths? Why such a pandemonium?
Why does God allow the devil to test us? Everything happens in the hands of God. God is in control but God also respect our freedom. God gave freedom to everyone including angels. Satan is a fallen angel so he also has his freedom. We, as humans, also have our freedom. When God gave freedom, He gives it freely and out of love, when God gave freedom out of love, He won’t take it back. Satan uses his freedom to tempt us. For sometimes, we might think that God has forsaken us but in reality, God, Himself, is shielding us in the temptation of the devil. How could God protect us? It is by opening ourselves to God. We can only be helped if we ask God’s help. As I told you earlier, God respects our freedom. If out of freedom, we chose to be alone, God will respect that. No matter how God wants Himself to be with us, God will let us to walk away from Him. But since God is a loving God, He will still always look after us. God will remain watching our lives and will always be hopeful for us to call His name. There, we exercise our freedom, when we decide to call God to enter into our lives. In the long journey of life, no matter what we reached, there will always be emptiness if God is not with us, it is because all of us are meant to be united with God.
God let all these wicked things to happen in our lives for us to still choose Him no matter what ugly things happened in us. If other people would see us as a broken person, in the eyes of God, we always remain precious. Every time we call God to say sorry for all the things we have done becomes our homecoming to God. Every time we invoke God to enter in our ordinary lives become a reunion between us. Every time we pray, God listens. Every time we cry, God cries with us. God wants us to be strong in faith so that we can overcome all the temptations in our lives. Indeed, in one perspective, temptations become the test of our faithfulness to God. And this test is not just a one-shot-deal for the rest of us for it happens every moment of our life since Satan and his allies is really working hard for this they are tireless to achieve their goal, that is us being separated from God.
Now, we know that Satan can read us through our actions and speech; from there, he would plot his booby trap for us. But, beyond that what he really wanted to do is to read our mind. In our mind, there is our ‘will.’ Satan wants to influence our will and eventually, he wants us to be under his control. But actually, Satan cannot read our mind, the faculty of our intellect, that’s why he relies only through our responses to his distractions. When we become afraid, when we become excited, when we become weak… Satan would use all these data to influence us. He would manipulate everything around us just to divert our attention from God. We would even think that we are lucky for sometimes when we start to gamble on material things when do some acts that would corrupt our souls but would not be caught and would not be held responsible for a time… until the time that we become addicted and controlled by our habitual sinfulness and eventually put into shame… there we would realized that we were fooled by the devil… when it is already too late to step back and to retaliate. In our weaknesses, the devil will test us. In our fantasies, the devil will feed us. The devil will show us the shortcut to our happiness but it will destroy others because it will lead us to greed. The devil will teach us to be strong but he will make our hearts cold as a stone. The devil will offer us the grandeurs of the world but at the end it would still be empty promises because we become slaves of our passion for everything. The devil will teach us to hate God because of allowing pains and sufferings in our lives but he will… yes, he will tell us only nothing but the half-truth… for the truth is, Satan is the cause of all our woundedness and sufferings. The devil won’t tell these, he is a liar. The devil will disguise himself as a prophet who will promise to liberate us from our all that binds us. He will tell us that we are being enslaved by God and would justify our selfish desires us our freedom. He would destroy God in our mind and heart, and would place us in God’s place… Satan will blind us to believe that we become rulers of our selves by unleashing our inhibitions but we failed to realize that we are dictated by the whisper of the devil. Unknowingly, the devil is already manipulating our lives. When we do his commands, he becomes our God. In our weakness… the devil will hit us… he will use our sufferings to turn to him… he will use our anger to call his name… he will use our lustful thoughts to justify our lustful actions. These become happiness for us… every time we feed our ego… every time we justify our selfishness. How could we be free if we became so attached to the material world?
His place suffering but at the end he will destroy usWhen we become there he would hit us and eventually destroys us.
Our mind is the seat of our Soul. Only God can read our mind. Our mind where our soul seat is where our ‘will’ is. It is an intellectual faculty where God can communicate with us. It is a transcending part of our humanity where we can interact with our Divine God through prayers. Why it is transcending? Because our assent of faith is needed. We need to have a firm conviction that God hears our prayers. As persons, all of us have a ‘free will,’ God’s wants us to love Him with all of our freedom.
The Mass is the highest form of prayer. It is hard to understand the mass because our attention is being distracted and diverted by the devil. We may feel discomforts during the mass, we could be annoyed by our seatmates or our attention could be caught by others… and these are all happening within the mass. Sometimes, we just caught ourselves day-dreaming or fantasizing the previous thoughts we had in mind. The devil understand us in terms of memory by imprinting in our minds distracting experiences, like funny or lustful memories that we saw and heard; or sumptuous food, drugs and wines that appeal to our feelings and taste , thus, he would have a chance to steal our attention from God during the mass.
With these distractions, we need to train ourselves to learn to focus. Yes, the theology behind the mass is quite intellectual, but if we focus on whatever is happening inside the mass, we would realize that it appeal to our senses. The candles, symbolizes Jesus as the light of the world; the flowers, symbolizes joy of being Christians, the Choir singing represents the angels singing their wonderful hymn of praise, “the heavenly Gloria, Glory to God in the highest;” the readings are the words of the Lord being proclaimed; the priest, acting in behalf of Jesus; the Holy Host, which we take during communion becomes true precious body and blood of our Lord, Jesus Christ during the consecration. These, and more other, are the signs and symbols that should appeal to our physical senses but we failed to acknowledge because our mind is kept busy in processing other things like counting how many times the readers buckled or how many times the Altar Servers commit mistakes. The devil, himself, makes sure that he kept us busy so that we would fall into the temptation of being self-righteous perfectionists… by being workaholic and or over achiever… with these we would be diverted to the real meaning of life… to be in constant union with God. With this attitude inside the mass, we are physically present but our hearts become inattentive and absent for God. We missed the point, the point of being united with God.
If we see the mass as purely intellectual activity, we will soon get tired and later, get bored. We would even fail to acknowledge the presence of community around us. The risk of theologizing everything would also become a danger. We become less affective and we become less responsive to other. The danger is that we could equate everything to our personal experience that we took even the bible literally. We soon realized that we boxed everything and thus, we limit God. We should always understand that God is not a God who we can fashion to what we like Him to be. God is a free God who freely loved us from the beginning up to the end of our life. What we think of God, as human, would not totally represent God because our knowledge of God is very limited. What we understand of God is that God is a God of love. We can only see a glimpse of God’s beauty, God’s splendor and God’s ever mighty presence because our mind is a grain of sand compared to the mind of God which is a vast ocean. But since God is a God of love, He chose to reveal Himself to us. Through the ages, in the times of old, in a process where man can understand Him, God patiently unfolds Himself to us.
Until the time, God the Father, sent His only begotten Son, our Lord Jesus Christ to dwell in our midst. The idea of God become a living experience. Jesus Christ was touched, seen, heard, embraced, felt and loved. Our relationship with God suddenly becomes a more tender relationship with Him. There was this marvelous interaction—the apostles were called and answered back, the first disciples followed and listened Jesus, Jesus become very intimate and so personal to those who touched Him... Jesus showed compassion… Jesus forgives sinners and Jesus even cried when Lazarus died. These were their first experience of Jesus, a man who became God and walked in the midst of the countless eye-witnesses who first believe that a Messiah was born of Mary, the Mother of God.
The mass is like that. A personal relationship to Jesus Christ who is again and again being offered in a bloodless sacrifice. In the Mass Jesus spoke through the Commentators, Lectors, Psalmist, Readers and Priests. With the choir, we express our inspirations that we have drawn from Jesus Christ. With the presence of everybody, Jesus Christ becomes present among us. When we participate in the Holy Communion, when we take the Body and Blood of Jesus Christ, Jesus enters in our lives. When we let the Holy Spirit dwell in our lives, with our works, we become missionaries of God where we take Jesus and share Jesus wherever we go. Jesus is given to us by God, the Father. Jesus is made present in our midst by God, the Holy Spirit. With Jesus, God in three persons works in our lives.
When appreciating the mass could be our habitual attitude, we grow in spirit and wisdom. No matter how much trials in life would happen in us, we could still stay focus in loving Jesus. In the darkness of a soul, the Holy Darkness which is the final test of our spirit, there are no more immediate physical rewards to console us in our prayers. There is nothing but Spiritual dryness. For the moment… there is nothing to see, to touch, to hear or to smell… all seems to be void and nothing. There could only be multiple layers of pains and agonies that would really torment our faith and would shatter our humanly reason. It is an experience of being torn and being broken. It is a very dark experience where we would have nothing but faith. It is an assent of our mind, our ‘will’ to transcends our weaknesses… to totally let go of everything and let God do His will in us… It is a total unity between us and God. At the end, in this test of faith, there is seemingly darkness because God, the God of light has totally embraced us.
To explain this, we usually cling for something because of the immediate gratification that we are hoping for. Like, when we want an ice cream, we usually beg from our Mom and Dad. We stay with them and even annoy them just to catch their attention. To possess the ice cream, on the process, we did sacrifice some of our time. When we eat the ice cream, we become happy and most of the time we ask for more. This is the process of Satan, instant gratification.
In the mass, there is no instant gratification for our personal wishes. (It even takes a person to maturity in order to pray and adore Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament). God only answers easily if we pray for virtues since these virtues will bring us good attitudes that would be the gateway in attaining our life’s aspirations. In my long relationship with God, I realized that if I pray to God to grant me patience I become more open to life’s challenges which is, most of the time, a key to success. And more over, with God, I also become open to failures where there I derived endless reflections and has found so much a blessing. In reality, there is no magic in life, there are no real shortcuts… hardship and easiness of life, happiness and sorrows in life depend on how we see and understand life. We can see life as a lonely life if we choose it that way. What we think in our mind, becomes our actions… becomes our ‘will.’ We make Satan happy if we act this way.
Yes, all of us are broken, but this brokenness should not make us as cynical people. Yes, in our lives, we were once victimized, but we should not let this take away the smile in our face. Yes, we are suffering but we should not let these suffering and pains ruin our future and destroy other lives. If we see life as a very lonely and meaningless life, it is because we failed to listen to God when we pray. Prayer is a multi-faceted communication. God would like to speak to us only when we listen.
The mass become so dry for us because we are the only one directing the mass in our minds. We do not let God to reveal Himself to us every day in our lives. When we pray, we become tired because we are the only one talking… we only communicate what we want but we failed to listen to what God has planned to happen in our life. Conversion of the heart, a real metanoia, only happens if we empty ourselves so that could fill our cup of life with His life which is He is very willing to share with us. And I think, if we become open, if we free our mind… our will… our spirit… the, the Holy Mass would never be boring. It will always be a new wonderful and exciting experience. We would always long for the next Mass because we would realize that we have already built our friendship with Jesus our Lord. And to meet a very wonderful friend, such as Jesus, is a very exciting one.
The process of understanding happens in the intellect. The mind interprets what are experienced by the body. But if we end in the mind only, if we closed our minds, and become so stoic about others and focus only in the belief that ‘it is only me and my creator matter’ attitude, later we would be tired because we would fail to find deeper meaning of what we are doing. We missed the point that God has a big heart and He absolutely has big arms to embrace us all. If we closed our minds we would never appreciate the small things in our surroundings being sensed by our body’s sensual faculty—the sense of sight, touch, hearing, and smelling… the whole process of understanding become a self-righteous conviction of what we only believe that exist in our mind, thus, we separate ourselves from others and limit God within our capacity. Butterflies are beautiful, wild flowers are cute to look at, sampaguita are sweet to smell… this small things will make us realize that life is beautiful. It is true that if we do not train our mind to practice focus, we will fail to understand heavenly things since the Holy Mass is a heavenly banquet…since the heaven opens every time we celebrate the Holy Mass. But we should not also forget to appreciate God’s creations; they are gift of God to us to make our childhood a memorable one and to make our life a gift to others.
It will become hard to understand the Holy Mass if we let everything happens in our mind. It would really be boring and even frustrating. It would nice to imagine a perfect Mass with perfect choirs and perfect organist playing the instrument. It would be so delightful to see the Altar Server well behaving and sitting piously while listening to the homily of the priests. It would be soul inspiring to be with angelic persons like the ‘manangs’ and ‘manongs’ in the Church who are always generous and ready to help us. More, it would be a moment of grace to hear the entertaining homily of a saintly priest that would make us laugh in any given Sundays. But these are all illusions because all of us are struggling to remain faithful. These exist only in the core of an unrealistic mind where it expects no more human emotions which are always open to errors. A self-righteous mind who only appreciates perfection that has no heart and compassion-- a mind that doesn’t bother and doesn’t ask why… a mind that doesn’t care about the struggles of any person concern. It is a persecuting mind always pointing fingers on others and a mind that has forgotten that Jesus Christ is a compassionate God. We are loved by God by who we are. God, when He looked on us, he doesn’t see our weaknesses but our potentials. To tap these potentials, we need to go out from our closed world and be open to let other’s life to touch ours. All of us… before going to the Mass have fought our personal struggles. The Church is not only for those who are perfect but, specially, for those who are not. We cannot deny that the Church is our home, and it would be sad if from our home with God, we send someone out.
The mass could be more meaningful if we experience it as a total person… body and soul. We could start by appreciating the things around us as blessings from God. The Mass reflects our relationship with God. The mass is the highest expression of our prayer. It is true that there are times that we find that it is hard to pray. We need to train ourselves to develop a good attitude in praying because Satan would distract us through our senses. Sometimes, we even get frustrated because we experience that our prayer life becomes so dry. Some Saints in a part of their life, also entered a dark zone called ‘Holy Darkness.’ Holy darkness is a state of prayer life where there is no more physical gratification. Through their testimonies, we understand that we could still have faith even there are no more rewards for us to hope for. Here, if you are doing a mission, you have possibly reached already the state of self-giving… wherein you have reached the state of life that is totally dependent to God… the mission of Jesus Christ becomes the consolation itself. It is where you do your task no matter how irritating others would be, even how bothering and demanding I could be most of the times or even the Priests would constantly scold us, we still become humble to accept and continue our service to God. It is where we learn to sacrifice out of love.
Our generosity to give ourselves and at the same time our openness to any rejections are the daily tests that we encounter in our daily lives. No matter how we try to become holy, there were times where we usually slid back. It happens when we do not practice daily our good virtues. When we let ourselves be tempted for the first time by the devil, we could be trapped into his bait until we become so addicted to it.
As I reflect, we need a new and fresher way of looking onto the Holy Mass... a newer insight that would lead us to the understanding that the Holy Mass also empowers us. Every time the Holy Mass ended, the priest commissions us before we leave the Church. We were sent back to the world to become missionaries of Jesus Christ. As missionaries, we are encouraged to bear witness to Jesus Christ… to let the world know that Jesus Christ is living among us… that His words still reverberates in our lives as we await His glorious coming in the Advent of his time.
Sa misyon, ang laging tanong, “gaano ba ako kahanda na laging magbigay?” [In every mission, the question is 'until when should I give my sacrifices]. As missionaries, when we expect for something in return, we just become frustrated and disappointed because as missionaries, we receive, most of the time, nothing but more challenges and these, most of the time, they burn us out. In mission there are only few consolations and one of the consolation is to be with Jesus always in the Holy Mass. If we totally immersed ourselves in the understanding of the Holy Mass… from the enkindling of our faith with the words of Jesus Christ proclaimed in the liturgy of the Word; and from the rekindling of our faith again upon encountering Jesus Christ in the Liturgy of the Eucharist… we would transcend our limitations as we let God to do his ‘ ‘will’ in us… where our ‘will’ totally embraces the ‘will’ of God.
===
This is in response to a question posted to me by the Santurio Eucaristico Youth last August 4, 2013: "Why Mass is so boring?"
"Now, I realized that most of the time, when we talk about our faith, we forgot to attack our real enemy... the devil."
Br. Dennis DC. Marquez, SSS
We, as individuals are working in the material world. The material world is the environment where we are living. Structures like the school, the church or the home where different human activities are going on are where we operate as a person. As a person, we are a rational being. We can differentiate good and bad. And as a person we always consider ourselves as a person consisting of body and soul.
Living in a material world, as humans, we also interact with other human beings. We start with our families; then we go beyond our house’s fences and start to find friends. As we grow, we gain knowledge and experiences. Aside from the ordinary school, we also learn from the television, computers, gadgets and from all the people we encounter every day. With our interaction with the material world, we also encounter challenges, problems, and even to the point of getting hurt someone or disappointed by our own limitations. These are all stored in our memory and they influence us to be who we are. These influences has taught us to respond to our basic needs. There is a need to response to our basic needs in order for us to survive as a person, sometimes, we don’t realize it, it just happens naturally. These responses become our habitual responses and has become our attitude. As an attitude, our actions become subliminal or automatic in us.
A person is a bodied spirit. Through our body, we respond to the material world. Our body responses through our senses. We see the beauty and the ugliness of everything through our eyes, we can hear the wind blowing through our ears, we can smell fragrant of the flowers through our nose, we can taste the food through our tongue, and we can feel the changing weather through our sense of touch. Through these senses, we respond to our environment.
Now, why it is hard to understand God? Because God is not physically present in our time now. We cannot talk to God now physically. We cannot touch God now. There are so many questions like where is God? How God could help me if he is not around? Or if God is powerful, why can’t He change me now to believe? There are so many doubts that arise because God is beyond the realm of the physical world. God is a Spiritual being that’s why to understand God we need also to transcend by being spiritual. Let us not forget that as a person, we are body and spirit.
Our spirit works in our ‘will,’ our intellect is the seat of our will. Our intellect is our mind. Our experiences are stored in our mind. Out intellect process all our experiences, bad and good, and our will is where our freedom of choice lies.
Okay, let us simplify. Example, BED SCENE (not that! green minded people!) I mean, like in this scenario: It was 5:30 in the morning where an Altar Server’s alarm clock rung telling him or her to rise up for he or she will have to serve the mass at 7:00 am. Let say, he is Paul Quidong (this is only an example) That morning, it was cold, and when he looked outside it’s also raining. The sense of hearing woke up Paul. His sense of touch gave him a good feeling of coolness and invites him to linger more. But Paul realized that he would be late, so he forced himself to stand up, but by the window, he saw that it was raining and that gave him a good reason to stay home and continue sleeping. His senses gave him the facts. His mind process the gathered facts, his intellect would tell him things like these: first, it is good to serve in the mass and second, but it is not good to get wet in the rain. As person, we have the tendency to defend ourselves so we reason out in our favor which we call self-justification. The dilemma now is which of the reasons should Paul give importance, his bodily pleasure or what he ought to do being a committed Altar Server?
Our ‘will’ without conscience would decide in the favor of our own self. As a person, we know what freedom is since we have ‘free will’ but sometimes we don’t know what we mean about freedom. That’s why there are times that our ‘will’ is overpowered by our physical needs and desires. There are times that we are overpowered by our work and we become our work. Our work has now become more important than God. In the example, the busyness or work of Paul that attracts him is sleeping. But his ‘will‘ has told him that ‘I need to go because I am a responsible Altar Server.’
This is a common dilemma for all of us. There are so many temptations that we are in which can hinder us to do what we ought to do. Most of the time we even justify our wrong actions… we take it personally and we don’t realize that we are already succumbed by our own pride. We let ourselves be subjected to our personal whining until we gradually forget our commitment with God. We took our personal pride as our top priority instead of changing ourselves. We sometimes say, ‘Akin ito,’ ‘Ako,’ ‘Ko,’ always grabbing all the good things and always blaming others for our shortcomings.
You see, since that we are in the material world, we respond through our senses. We find pleasure through our senses. And what I mean pleasure, usually, we stick most of our time to whatever we are doing and we omit ourselves from doing other things. No balance at all. What I mean, we became so much attached or addicted to what we prefer to do and these things not only defray us from our other priorities in life but also disconnect us with God. This is now where Satan is working. Satan, the fallen angel, is working tirelessly 24/7 just to allure us into his temptation.
From our actions and speech, Satan would know what we long for. He would take note those things that will bring us to God. From there, he will plot temptations that will trap us from being reunited with God. Satan is active in our world and could use anything to catch our attention. When Satan found that we have a strong faith, usually, he will bring us more harm. If he can’t stop us to serve God, he would hurt even the people we love. If Satan knew that there are people who have the capacity to let others fall, he will intensify them by giving them power. Of all these, Satan only wants our soul. He wants us to be separated from the love of God.
The question, “Where is God?” If God is powerful, why He let us to be tempted by the Devil. Why He let sufferings and deaths? Why such a pandemonium?
Why does God allow the devil to test us? Everything happens in the hands of God. God is in control but God also respect our freedom. God gave freedom to everyone including angels. Satan is a fallen angel so he also has his freedom. We, as humans, also have our freedom. When God gave freedom, He gives it freely and out of love, when God gave freedom out of love, He won’t take it back. Satan uses his freedom to tempt us. For sometimes, we might think that God has forsaken us but in reality, God, Himself, is shielding us in the temptation of the devil. How could God protect us? It is by opening ourselves to God. We can only be helped if we ask God’s help. As I told you earlier, God respects our freedom. If out of freedom, we chose to be alone, God will respect that. No matter how God wants Himself to be with us, God will let us to walk away from Him. But since God is a loving God, He will still always look after us. God will remain watching our lives and will always be hopeful for us to call His name. There, we exercise our freedom, when we decide to call God to enter into our lives. In the long journey of life, no matter what we reached, there will always be emptiness if God is not with us, it is because all of us are meant to be united with God.
God let all these wicked things to happen in our lives for us to still choose Him no matter what ugly things happened in us. If other people would see us as a broken person, in the eyes of God, we always remain precious. Every time we call God to say sorry for all the things we have done becomes our homecoming to God. Every time we invoke God to enter in our ordinary lives become a reunion between us. Every time we pray, God listens. Every time we cry, God cries with us. God wants us to be strong in faith so that we can overcome all the temptations in our lives. Indeed, in one perspective, temptations become the test of our faithfulness to God. And this test is not just a one-shot-deal for the rest of us for it happens every moment of our life since Satan and his allies is really working hard for this they are tireless to achieve their goal, that is us being separated from God.
Now, we know that Satan can read us through our actions and speech; from there, he would plot his booby trap for us. But, beyond that what he really wanted to do is to read our mind. In our mind, there is our ‘will.’ Satan wants to influence our will and eventually, he wants us to be under his control. But actually, Satan cannot read our mind, the faculty of our intellect, that’s why he relies only through our responses to his distractions. When we become afraid, when we become excited, when we become weak… Satan would use all these data to influence us. He would manipulate everything around us just to divert our attention from God. We would even think that we are lucky for sometimes when we start to gamble on material things when do some acts that would corrupt our souls but would not be caught and would not be held responsible for a time… until the time that we become addicted and controlled by our habitual sinfulness and eventually put into shame… there we would realized that we were fooled by the devil… when it is already too late to step back and to retaliate. In our weaknesses, the devil will test us. In our fantasies, the devil will feed us. The devil will show us the shortcut to our happiness but it will destroy others because it will lead us to greed. The devil will teach us to be strong but he will make our hearts cold as a stone. The devil will offer us the grandeurs of the world but at the end it would still be empty promises because we become slaves of our passion for everything. The devil will teach us to hate God because of allowing pains and sufferings in our lives but he will… yes, he will tell us only nothing but the half-truth… for the truth is, Satan is the cause of all our woundedness and sufferings. The devil won’t tell these, he is a liar. The devil will disguise himself as a prophet who will promise to liberate us from our all that binds us. He will tell us that we are being enslaved by God and would justify our selfish desires us our freedom. He would destroy God in our mind and heart, and would place us in God’s place… Satan will blind us to believe that we become rulers of our selves by unleashing our inhibitions but we failed to realize that we are dictated by the whisper of the devil. Unknowingly, the devil is already manipulating our lives. When we do his commands, he becomes our God. In our weakness… the devil will hit us… he will use our sufferings to turn to him… he will use our anger to call his name… he will use our lustful thoughts to justify our lustful actions. These become happiness for us… every time we feed our ego… every time we justify our selfishness. How could we be free if we became so attached to the material world?
His place suffering but at the end he will destroy usWhen we become there he would hit us and eventually destroys us.
Our mind is the seat of our Soul. Only God can read our mind. Our mind where our soul seat is where our ‘will’ is. It is an intellectual faculty where God can communicate with us. It is a transcending part of our humanity where we can interact with our Divine God through prayers. Why it is transcending? Because our assent of faith is needed. We need to have a firm conviction that God hears our prayers. As persons, all of us have a ‘free will,’ God’s wants us to love Him with all of our freedom.
The Mass is the highest form of prayer. It is hard to understand the mass because our attention is being distracted and diverted by the devil. We may feel discomforts during the mass, we could be annoyed by our seatmates or our attention could be caught by others… and these are all happening within the mass. Sometimes, we just caught ourselves day-dreaming or fantasizing the previous thoughts we had in mind. The devil understand us in terms of memory by imprinting in our minds distracting experiences, like funny or lustful memories that we saw and heard; or sumptuous food, drugs and wines that appeal to our feelings and taste , thus, he would have a chance to steal our attention from God during the mass.
With these distractions, we need to train ourselves to learn to focus. Yes, the theology behind the mass is quite intellectual, but if we focus on whatever is happening inside the mass, we would realize that it appeal to our senses. The candles, symbolizes Jesus as the light of the world; the flowers, symbolizes joy of being Christians, the Choir singing represents the angels singing their wonderful hymn of praise, “the heavenly Gloria, Glory to God in the highest;” the readings are the words of the Lord being proclaimed; the priest, acting in behalf of Jesus; the Holy Host, which we take during communion becomes true precious body and blood of our Lord, Jesus Christ during the consecration. These, and more other, are the signs and symbols that should appeal to our physical senses but we failed to acknowledge because our mind is kept busy in processing other things like counting how many times the readers buckled or how many times the Altar Servers commit mistakes. The devil, himself, makes sure that he kept us busy so that we would fall into the temptation of being self-righteous perfectionists… by being workaholic and or over achiever… with these we would be diverted to the real meaning of life… to be in constant union with God. With this attitude inside the mass, we are physically present but our hearts become inattentive and absent for God. We missed the point, the point of being united with God.
If we see the mass as purely intellectual activity, we will soon get tired and later, get bored. We would even fail to acknowledge the presence of community around us. The risk of theologizing everything would also become a danger. We become less affective and we become less responsive to other. The danger is that we could equate everything to our personal experience that we took even the bible literally. We soon realized that we boxed everything and thus, we limit God. We should always understand that God is not a God who we can fashion to what we like Him to be. God is a free God who freely loved us from the beginning up to the end of our life. What we think of God, as human, would not totally represent God because our knowledge of God is very limited. What we understand of God is that God is a God of love. We can only see a glimpse of God’s beauty, God’s splendor and God’s ever mighty presence because our mind is a grain of sand compared to the mind of God which is a vast ocean. But since God is a God of love, He chose to reveal Himself to us. Through the ages, in the times of old, in a process where man can understand Him, God patiently unfolds Himself to us.
Until the time, God the Father, sent His only begotten Son, our Lord Jesus Christ to dwell in our midst. The idea of God become a living experience. Jesus Christ was touched, seen, heard, embraced, felt and loved. Our relationship with God suddenly becomes a more tender relationship with Him. There was this marvelous interaction—the apostles were called and answered back, the first disciples followed and listened Jesus, Jesus become very intimate and so personal to those who touched Him... Jesus showed compassion… Jesus forgives sinners and Jesus even cried when Lazarus died. These were their first experience of Jesus, a man who became God and walked in the midst of the countless eye-witnesses who first believe that a Messiah was born of Mary, the Mother of God.
The mass is like that. A personal relationship to Jesus Christ who is again and again being offered in a bloodless sacrifice. In the Mass Jesus spoke through the Commentators, Lectors, Psalmist, Readers and Priests. With the choir, we express our inspirations that we have drawn from Jesus Christ. With the presence of everybody, Jesus Christ becomes present among us. When we participate in the Holy Communion, when we take the Body and Blood of Jesus Christ, Jesus enters in our lives. When we let the Holy Spirit dwell in our lives, with our works, we become missionaries of God where we take Jesus and share Jesus wherever we go. Jesus is given to us by God, the Father. Jesus is made present in our midst by God, the Holy Spirit. With Jesus, God in three persons works in our lives.
When appreciating the mass could be our habitual attitude, we grow in spirit and wisdom. No matter how much trials in life would happen in us, we could still stay focus in loving Jesus. In the darkness of a soul, the Holy Darkness which is the final test of our spirit, there are no more immediate physical rewards to console us in our prayers. There is nothing but Spiritual dryness. For the moment… there is nothing to see, to touch, to hear or to smell… all seems to be void and nothing. There could only be multiple layers of pains and agonies that would really torment our faith and would shatter our humanly reason. It is an experience of being torn and being broken. It is a very dark experience where we would have nothing but faith. It is an assent of our mind, our ‘will’ to transcends our weaknesses… to totally let go of everything and let God do His will in us… It is a total unity between us and God. At the end, in this test of faith, there is seemingly darkness because God, the God of light has totally embraced us.
To explain this, we usually cling for something because of the immediate gratification that we are hoping for. Like, when we want an ice cream, we usually beg from our Mom and Dad. We stay with them and even annoy them just to catch their attention. To possess the ice cream, on the process, we did sacrifice some of our time. When we eat the ice cream, we become happy and most of the time we ask for more. This is the process of Satan, instant gratification.
In the mass, there is no instant gratification for our personal wishes. (It even takes a person to maturity in order to pray and adore Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament). God only answers easily if we pray for virtues since these virtues will bring us good attitudes that would be the gateway in attaining our life’s aspirations. In my long relationship with God, I realized that if I pray to God to grant me patience I become more open to life’s challenges which is, most of the time, a key to success. And more over, with God, I also become open to failures where there I derived endless reflections and has found so much a blessing. In reality, there is no magic in life, there are no real shortcuts… hardship and easiness of life, happiness and sorrows in life depend on how we see and understand life. We can see life as a lonely life if we choose it that way. What we think in our mind, becomes our actions… becomes our ‘will.’ We make Satan happy if we act this way.
Yes, all of us are broken, but this brokenness should not make us as cynical people. Yes, in our lives, we were once victimized, but we should not let this take away the smile in our face. Yes, we are suffering but we should not let these suffering and pains ruin our future and destroy other lives. If we see life as a very lonely and meaningless life, it is because we failed to listen to God when we pray. Prayer is a multi-faceted communication. God would like to speak to us only when we listen.
The mass become so dry for us because we are the only one directing the mass in our minds. We do not let God to reveal Himself to us every day in our lives. When we pray, we become tired because we are the only one talking… we only communicate what we want but we failed to listen to what God has planned to happen in our life. Conversion of the heart, a real metanoia, only happens if we empty ourselves so that could fill our cup of life with His life which is He is very willing to share with us. And I think, if we become open, if we free our mind… our will… our spirit… the, the Holy Mass would never be boring. It will always be a new wonderful and exciting experience. We would always long for the next Mass because we would realize that we have already built our friendship with Jesus our Lord. And to meet a very wonderful friend, such as Jesus, is a very exciting one.
The process of understanding happens in the intellect. The mind interprets what are experienced by the body. But if we end in the mind only, if we closed our minds, and become so stoic about others and focus only in the belief that ‘it is only me and my creator matter’ attitude, later we would be tired because we would fail to find deeper meaning of what we are doing. We missed the point that God has a big heart and He absolutely has big arms to embrace us all. If we closed our minds we would never appreciate the small things in our surroundings being sensed by our body’s sensual faculty—the sense of sight, touch, hearing, and smelling… the whole process of understanding become a self-righteous conviction of what we only believe that exist in our mind, thus, we separate ourselves from others and limit God within our capacity. Butterflies are beautiful, wild flowers are cute to look at, sampaguita are sweet to smell… this small things will make us realize that life is beautiful. It is true that if we do not train our mind to practice focus, we will fail to understand heavenly things since the Holy Mass is a heavenly banquet…since the heaven opens every time we celebrate the Holy Mass. But we should not also forget to appreciate God’s creations; they are gift of God to us to make our childhood a memorable one and to make our life a gift to others.
It will become hard to understand the Holy Mass if we let everything happens in our mind. It would really be boring and even frustrating. It would nice to imagine a perfect Mass with perfect choirs and perfect organist playing the instrument. It would be so delightful to see the Altar Server well behaving and sitting piously while listening to the homily of the priests. It would be soul inspiring to be with angelic persons like the ‘manangs’ and ‘manongs’ in the Church who are always generous and ready to help us. More, it would be a moment of grace to hear the entertaining homily of a saintly priest that would make us laugh in any given Sundays. But these are all illusions because all of us are struggling to remain faithful. These exist only in the core of an unrealistic mind where it expects no more human emotions which are always open to errors. A self-righteous mind who only appreciates perfection that has no heart and compassion-- a mind that doesn’t bother and doesn’t ask why… a mind that doesn’t care about the struggles of any person concern. It is a persecuting mind always pointing fingers on others and a mind that has forgotten that Jesus Christ is a compassionate God. We are loved by God by who we are. God, when He looked on us, he doesn’t see our weaknesses but our potentials. To tap these potentials, we need to go out from our closed world and be open to let other’s life to touch ours. All of us… before going to the Mass have fought our personal struggles. The Church is not only for those who are perfect but, specially, for those who are not. We cannot deny that the Church is our home, and it would be sad if from our home with God, we send someone out.
The mass could be more meaningful if we experience it as a total person… body and soul. We could start by appreciating the things around us as blessings from God. The Mass reflects our relationship with God. The mass is the highest expression of our prayer. It is true that there are times that we find that it is hard to pray. We need to train ourselves to develop a good attitude in praying because Satan would distract us through our senses. Sometimes, we even get frustrated because we experience that our prayer life becomes so dry. Some Saints in a part of their life, also entered a dark zone called ‘Holy Darkness.’ Holy darkness is a state of prayer life where there is no more physical gratification. Through their testimonies, we understand that we could still have faith even there are no more rewards for us to hope for. Here, if you are doing a mission, you have possibly reached already the state of self-giving… wherein you have reached the state of life that is totally dependent to God… the mission of Jesus Christ becomes the consolation itself. It is where you do your task no matter how irritating others would be, even how bothering and demanding I could be most of the times or even the Priests would constantly scold us, we still become humble to accept and continue our service to God. It is where we learn to sacrifice out of love.
Our generosity to give ourselves and at the same time our openness to any rejections are the daily tests that we encounter in our daily lives. No matter how we try to become holy, there were times where we usually slid back. It happens when we do not practice daily our good virtues. When we let ourselves be tempted for the first time by the devil, we could be trapped into his bait until we become so addicted to it.
As I reflect, we need a new and fresher way of looking onto the Holy Mass... a newer insight that would lead us to the understanding that the Holy Mass also empowers us. Every time the Holy Mass ended, the priest commissions us before we leave the Church. We were sent back to the world to become missionaries of Jesus Christ. As missionaries, we are encouraged to bear witness to Jesus Christ… to let the world know that Jesus Christ is living among us… that His words still reverberates in our lives as we await His glorious coming in the Advent of his time.
Sa misyon, ang laging tanong, “gaano ba ako kahanda na laging magbigay?” [In every mission, the question is 'until when should I give my sacrifices]. As missionaries, when we expect for something in return, we just become frustrated and disappointed because as missionaries, we receive, most of the time, nothing but more challenges and these, most of the time, they burn us out. In mission there are only few consolations and one of the consolation is to be with Jesus always in the Holy Mass. If we totally immersed ourselves in the understanding of the Holy Mass… from the enkindling of our faith with the words of Jesus Christ proclaimed in the liturgy of the Word; and from the rekindling of our faith again upon encountering Jesus Christ in the Liturgy of the Eucharist… we would transcend our limitations as we let God to do his ‘ ‘will’ in us… where our ‘will’ totally embraces the ‘will’ of God.
===
This is in response to a question posted to me by the Santurio Eucaristico Youth last August 4, 2013: "Why Mass is so boring?"
"Now, I realized that most of the time, when we talk about our faith, we forgot to attack our real enemy... the devil."
Br. Dennis DC. Marquez, SSS
Message to Santuario Eucaristico Youth
Some few years ago, I was also a choir member. As a member that time, I could easily remember any new song. Remembering the different parts of the arrangements... from soprano part up to the bass part has never been a problem to me. I could easily interpret what was written on the music score. But the sad thing was, I had a terrible voice… I had a very limited vocal range that’s why I can’t sing well.
I knew it already, but my choir mates in ‘Himig ni Job Choir,' who were mostly, professional singers, were so patient with me. They never intimidated me even most of the times, because of passion, I sing aloud when I got carried away. They never blamed me if ever I over powered the other tenors in the group. But, instead they appreciated me when I discovered that I could sing the bass parts... actually, they helped me to discover that and they believe in me that I can do that.
There was a dire choir need in that parish that time that’s why, our choir, ‘Himig ni Job Choir’ came into existence for a while. Like other church goers, I never go to my own parish because I hated my ill-tempered parish priest that’s why I preferred to go to an Adventist Church instead for many years. My college classmate, Brother Ronie, as we fondly called him, invited me to attend a 'Singles for Christ' program-seminar. He did invited me since our first year college, and I just heed his invitation a year after our graduation. Because of the 'cheap' merienda [snacks]-- a cheese bread without cheese, with a water flavored juice being offered, I persevered. I was so inspired because they were so generous to contribute their cooking utensils and other resources from home and their precious allowance for us, their participants, to persevere. Then, that was the revival of my Catholic faith.
The choir endured me for a very long time. I was so reactive then. It was indeed a long process of learning and discovering. Sis. Rheena gave me an idea on how to read notes and Kuya Dhong, our choir master, gave me an idea how to play the organ. They helped me to discover my new craft... I was far better in playing instruments than in singing. To practice playing with them was their moment of agony. When I was practicing the intros of every new liturgical song for the season, I usually asked them to repeat again and again until I master it, even more, when I we have songs with transpositions at the end part. My first few months of playing was so terrible but they remained so patient. Kuya Dhong, on organ and piano, and Br. Celso, on guitar, patiently played with me. They guided me and shared with me their resources and experiences.
Leony lent me her bulky collection of music-sheets. The
couple, Br. Ronnie and Sis. Ann, provided me with a portable piano-organ so that I would
not need to bring my own from home. Sis. Marvie, with his boyfriend then, Br. Randy, always
bring something to eat.
Our bonding moments were the most important experience that
I treasure from this choir group. After a year of serving, all of us went on
our own ways but the friendship we built has never been changed. I always reflect: “why they were so patient with me? I have no talent at all.”
Now that I grow older, I realized that we valued more our friendship above the rest. Our friendship has deepen our commitment in singing for the Lord. Our friendship has inspired me to love the Church which was so complicated for me to understand: ‘Napakasungit ng parish priest sa parokya na yun. Mga matatandang dalaga na hindi maipinta ang mga mukha na laging galit sa mga youth members. Mga madadamot na tao na mga parang galit sa mundo na ginagawang panakot lagi si ‘father.’’ [The parish priest was so hard to deal with. The spinsters were so very bad mannered and always scolding us, the youth. There were so many ungenerous peoples who always invent gossips against us and brag themselves to our parish priest]. They were so sickening and offending but with my choir group, the Himig ni Job Choir, I was helped to transcend these so pathetic people and inspired to focus on my service. From them, I learned to be committed for the Lord. From them, I learn to love God.
Why I am telling you this? Because I want you to be more kind and patient. I am praying that one day, you will realize that serving the Lord is not about ‘pagalingan’ [being the best] but a matter of commitment. Everyone is a gift. I believe that every member with his/her weaknesses and strengths is a gift from God. They strive hard just to be here in the Church. Like you, they also sacrifice a lot just to be here in the Church. Why setting them aside? Why pinpointing their weaknesses? Why turning them down? Why creating a division that eliminates others? Why disapproving these gifts of God?
As your brother, I am happy that most of you appreciate my 'giftedness.' But many years ago, I was also a stupid and a ‘pasaway’ [incorrigible] member of my choir group. But all those years, I was changed and has followed God because I experienced the love of God manifested into the kindness and generosity of my choir mates. My being so prideful was deliberately melted away because of that experience of love. And because of that love that I experienced with my ever patient choir group, I felt that the Church was so loving… I transcended everyone who I learned to hate inside the Church and I started to be inspired by those people who exert their effort to care for me. I started to learn how to forgive and I was humbled to ask for forgiveness. With my choir mates, I found joy in serving the Lord.
Maybe, we are the last people inside the Church who they are clinging into. We should not let our precious chances to burst into thin air. Instead of learning to ignore, learn to be compassionate. Instead of learning to be indifferent, learn to listen. Instead of learning to hate, learn to love. Ignorance, indifference, and hatred were never taught in the Church but why we become less compassionate... unable to hear and unable to love?
My dear youths, I admire your willingness to serve. I admire your talents. I admire your leadership and your value for your respective craft. Above all, I admire you for sharing your 'gift of presence.' As your brother, I ask you to be a gift to one another. Learn to appreciate one another. Learn to value and to love the 'gift of self' of one another. Protect the springing vocation of one another by being a loving brother and sister to one another. You can start love one another if you would treat one another as family. Together with Jesus Christ as our Lord and Brother, we become brothers and sisters; with Jesus Christ, we become children of God, the Father; and with Jesus Christ, we become united and enflamed by the love by the Holy Spirit.
As a promising member of our Church, I always pray that you would develop your full potentials so that when your time will come, the time when you will lead and eventually take our place, you would also be a compassionate and loving servant-leaders to all. I hope that one day, you will also re-echo the same love that you have experienced today by being an ever living witness of the love of Jesus Christ... that day, you will be the one telling your own story... a story of generosity... a story of love.
May God's love always embrace you and be with you always.
Now that I grow older, I realized that we valued more our friendship above the rest. Our friendship has deepen our commitment in singing for the Lord. Our friendship has inspired me to love the Church which was so complicated for me to understand: ‘Napakasungit ng parish priest sa parokya na yun. Mga matatandang dalaga na hindi maipinta ang mga mukha na laging galit sa mga youth members. Mga madadamot na tao na mga parang galit sa mundo na ginagawang panakot lagi si ‘father.’’ [The parish priest was so hard to deal with. The spinsters were so very bad mannered and always scolding us, the youth. There were so many ungenerous peoples who always invent gossips against us and brag themselves to our parish priest]. They were so sickening and offending but with my choir group, the Himig ni Job Choir, I was helped to transcend these so pathetic people and inspired to focus on my service. From them, I learned to be committed for the Lord. From them, I learn to love God.
Why I am telling you this? Because I want you to be more kind and patient. I am praying that one day, you will realize that serving the Lord is not about ‘pagalingan’ [being the best] but a matter of commitment. Everyone is a gift. I believe that every member with his/her weaknesses and strengths is a gift from God. They strive hard just to be here in the Church. Like you, they also sacrifice a lot just to be here in the Church. Why setting them aside? Why pinpointing their weaknesses? Why turning them down? Why creating a division that eliminates others? Why disapproving these gifts of God?
As your brother, I am happy that most of you appreciate my 'giftedness.' But many years ago, I was also a stupid and a ‘pasaway’ [incorrigible] member of my choir group. But all those years, I was changed and has followed God because I experienced the love of God manifested into the kindness and generosity of my choir mates. My being so prideful was deliberately melted away because of that experience of love. And because of that love that I experienced with my ever patient choir group, I felt that the Church was so loving… I transcended everyone who I learned to hate inside the Church and I started to be inspired by those people who exert their effort to care for me. I started to learn how to forgive and I was humbled to ask for forgiveness. With my choir mates, I found joy in serving the Lord.
Maybe, we are the last people inside the Church who they are clinging into. We should not let our precious chances to burst into thin air. Instead of learning to ignore, learn to be compassionate. Instead of learning to be indifferent, learn to listen. Instead of learning to hate, learn to love. Ignorance, indifference, and hatred were never taught in the Church but why we become less compassionate... unable to hear and unable to love?
My dear youths, I admire your willingness to serve. I admire your talents. I admire your leadership and your value for your respective craft. Above all, I admire you for sharing your 'gift of presence.' As your brother, I ask you to be a gift to one another. Learn to appreciate one another. Learn to value and to love the 'gift of self' of one another. Protect the springing vocation of one another by being a loving brother and sister to one another. You can start love one another if you would treat one another as family. Together with Jesus Christ as our Lord and Brother, we become brothers and sisters; with Jesus Christ, we become children of God, the Father; and with Jesus Christ, we become united and enflamed by the love by the Holy Spirit.
As a promising member of our Church, I always pray that you would develop your full potentials so that when your time will come, the time when you will lead and eventually take our place, you would also be a compassionate and loving servant-leaders to all. I hope that one day, you will also re-echo the same love that you have experienced today by being an ever living witness of the love of Jesus Christ... that day, you will be the one telling your own story... a story of generosity... a story of love.
May God's love always embrace you and be with you always.
Thursday, August 8, 2013
Wednesday, August 7, 2013
Gluttony
when we already possessed everything we want and we still feel that there's something lacking... it's not emptiness... it is being drowned by what we amassed. denmar
Generosity
we also become generous every time we accept rejections. (gosh, this is the hardest part of all) denmar
Prayer Life
when we pray to God, our challenges in life become blessings
when we pray for a mango, usually God gives us a tree so that we could have more mangoes to share and to give.
Monday, August 5, 2013
Decision Making
decision making should spring from love... not out of fear
when you decide out of fear,
you have too much to lose
you would sacrifice even love. denmar
when you decide out of fear,
you have too much to lose
you would sacrifice even love. denmar
A Farewell
it is always raining rose flowers everyday... but there's only one in every ten billion flower roses that you will catch and leave others behind. what the catcher would choose could be meaningless for us, but for the catcher... it could be his world, it could be his everything.
go, my dear catcher... go with your ever dearest evanescent rose flower now. we know that its petals will soon wilt and will soon die... but i know what you have caught and what you have embraced with your whole soul in this lifetime is a glimpse of eternity in a moment that is dying... what you hold treasure in your hands-- with its beauty and its thorns... is a glimpse of the face of God in a moment that is ending but will etched a happy memory in the vastness of the universe that would last forever in the time of God... till we meet again. denmar
go, my dear catcher... go with your ever dearest evanescent rose flower now. we know that its petals will soon wilt and will soon die... but i know what you have caught and what you have embraced with your whole soul in this lifetime is a glimpse of eternity in a moment that is dying... what you hold treasure in your hands-- with its beauty and its thorns... is a glimpse of the face of God in a moment that is ending but will etched a happy memory in the vastness of the universe that would last forever in the time of God... till we meet again. denmar
On Life's Journey
ON LIFE'S JOURNEY...
some leave dark shadows dissuading others to follow
some leave their footprints so that others would go
some make a road for others not to get lost
but i will leave to you my SHOES so that even I have gone
...i could still be with you
===
for a good hike, a good a pair of good shoes is a must. giving it away to somebody is a real sacrifice.
===
this morning, i realized that some leave for a journey to catch a rose:
"it is always raining roses everyday... but there's only one in a million roses that you will catch and leave others behind. what the catcher would choose could be meaningless for us, but for the catcher... it could be his world, it could be his everything.
go, my dear catcher... go with your everdearest evanescent rose now. we know that its petals will soon wilt and will soon die... but i know what you have caught and what you have embraced with your whole life...is a glimpse of eternity in a moment that is dying... is a glimpse of the face of God in a moment that is ending." denmar
some leave dark shadows dissuading others to follow
some leave their footprints so that others would go
some make a road for others not to get lost
but i will leave to you my SHOES so that even I have gone
...i could still be with you
===
for a good hike, a good a pair of good shoes is a must. giving it away to somebody is a real sacrifice.
===
this morning, i realized that some leave for a journey to catch a rose:
"it is always raining roses everyday... but there's only one in a million roses that you will catch and leave others behind. what the catcher would choose could be meaningless for us, but for the catcher... it could be his world, it could be his everything.
go, my dear catcher... go with your everdearest evanescent rose now. we know that its petals will soon wilt and will soon die... but i know what you have caught and what you have embraced with your whole life...is a glimpse of eternity in a moment that is dying... is a glimpse of the face of God in a moment that is ending." denmar
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