Sirach 37:1-6 CHOOSING A FRIEND
1 Every friend says, "I too am a friend"; but some friends are friends only in name. 2 Is it not a sorrow like that for death itself when a dear friend turns into an enemy? 3 O inclination to evil, why were you formed to cover the land with deceit? 4 Some companions rejoice in the happiness of a friend, but in time of trouble they are against him. 5 Some companions help a friend for their stomachs' sake, yet in battle they will carry his shield. 6 Do not forget a friend during the battle,and do not be unmindful of him when you distribute your spoils.
There are so many things that I can think of about friendship. To have valuable friends starts from the person himself-- he, being a true friend to others. We cannot simply receive. Friendship is a two way hi-way. It is, as we all know, a commitment between parties. It is not simply a relationship of simply benefiting from one another but a deeper relationship of communion to one another.
It is a relationship of ‘communion to one another’ because we let ourselves to be absorbed by one another. If not totally, we engage into a relationship where there is a commitment. In the long run, we give ourselves totally to a lasting connection—a bond which transcends time, blood line and economic status in life.
To discover our true friend or friends among the roster who calls us friend is like testing gold into a fire. Ben Sirach reminds me of the pain and sorrows of finding one. It took me time to realize the simple person who usually stays with me when things on my way gone so tough or when everything seems to be chaotic for me to understand. When I am in the stage of rage, confusion or being left by others, there’s always a person who remains with me to accompany me and patiently wait for me to pass through the storms of life.
Ben Sirach is very human. He has exposed our tendency to affiliate ourselves to those whom we see as ‘somebody.’ He made me to reflect how I see my friends. He made me ask this inward question: “What is my intention of treating him as my friend?” It would be offensive to ask this to anyone, but to a real friend… it might end up in recounting all the joys and pains which builds our friendship. Yes, there are countless ways of remembering our friendship, but in every occasion, tears and laughter always highlight the past. In every heroic story, there is always a struggle that was resolved with a friend who chose to stay in our side no matter what happened in our past.
Friends are not simply allies. They are the persons who taught us the greatest lessons in life. They walk with us through the trials of life. They pat our back and constantly saying: “kaya mo yan” or they are the one who simply stay behind us, silent but present—always with open hands to offer their help. Friends are the first one to believe in us, but they are also the same people who criticize us if they feel that we fall short in some rare occasions. They don’t simply criticize us but more, they make us realize they are the most concern people around. They are just honest to say the things that we need to improve. They never get angry with us, but only with our wrong actions. They can be frank but those words are the words that they believe that we need to hear to bring back our sanity and for us to realign once more with the reality. The more honest they are with us, the more painful for them to say the right words in the right time. It is simply because they don’t want us to get hurt, but they also know that we need to be more strong and mature in facing uncontrolled situations.
I agree with Fr. Escario, we cannot be a friend to all. In my reflection, not everybody responds to us the same way. We cannot simply just insist ourselves to anybody. Friendship is a gift that we can offer to anybody, but as a gift, anyone can also choose not to accept it. For me, to receive it is a joyful experience. It is like saying that: “I really trust you.” In the Filipino context, perhaps in my family, we consider any friend as a part of our family. My parents treats him or her just like one of us, their own very dear children.
Much more perhaps with Jesus Christ in the Blessed Sacrament. He said, “I do not call you servants any longer, because the servant does not know what the master is doing; but I have called you friends, because I have made known to you everything that I have heard from my Father.”[1] Even though, Jesus is God, in his great generosity, He is offering His divine friendship to us. It is a friendship that is deeply rooted in love. In His friendship, we became the adopted sons and daughters of God.
In every Holy Mass, the communion we receive is Jesus Himself. Jesus in the Sacred Host, aside from being a sign, is a covenant of that friendship that He promised to fulfill. In Jesus’ friendship, He is the one who initiated such a friendship: “You did not choose me but I chose you. And I appointed you to go and bear fruit, fruit that will last, so that the Father will give you whatever you ask him in my name. I am giving you these commands so that you may love one another.”[2]
Friendship entails love. Love is the reason why such a good friendship lasts.
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[1] John 15:15.
[2] John 15:16-17.
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